Lent 32 - forgiveness

Up until a few years ago I didnt really understand much about forgiveness.  I knew the theory, I understood the theology, I'd just never really had to exercise it.  Because to be perfectly honest I'd led a fairly charmed life and nobody had done anything much to upset me.  So apart from the occasional argument with someone or being cut up in traffic I didnt have much cause to be forgiving.

I know I am very fortunate.  Many people have difficult childhoods or traumas happen to them, they get bullied at school or are the victims of crime or whatever.  Im not one of those.  I was probably 45 before I had any inkling of how hard it can be to forgive someone. I guess where the rubber really hits the road is when there has been a significant betrayal of trust.  When you have been properly hurt and damaged by someone else and suddenly find yourself weighed down with the resentment and pain and anger and disappointment.  We all know the good old christian cliches about forgiveness being about freeing yourself as much as freeing the other person...... but it really isnt as easy as it sounds.

Forgiveness is a choice.  Well yes, we can want to forgive, we can say the words, but actually being emotionally able to forget about the offence,  genuinely behave as though it never happened and restore the other to a place of affection is difficult.   Ive been thinking about this a lot over the past couple of days and wondering if my own way of dealing with hurt is the right one.  In an attempt not to react out of a place of hurt I tend to adopt an attitude of not caring.  If I dont care then I cant be hurt and if Im not hurt then I dont need to forgive anyone!!  It works.  But Im not quite sure its what Jesus had in mind. 

Anyone else out there got any words of wisdom about how to forgive?   And what is harder - forgiving the enormous life-changing sin against you , or the many daily minor offences which can wear down your self esteem and make you cross and grumpy?   

Or is that just me?  😉