If we are going to learn anything about forgiveness then its going to be from Jesus. After all, His entire mission and life's work was all about forgiveness. About paying the price for our sins, cancelling the debt, bringing us back into relationship with God and being the means whereby God can forgive us. So Ive been thinking about what Jesus had to say about forgiving. And two things struck me which I havent really seen before ( despite having been a Christian for 30+ years. Amazing isnt it that we can keep on seeing new things over and over and that there is no end to the revelation of God)
Firstly Jesus hanging on the cross says ' Father forgive them, they dont know what they are doing'
He could have said ' I forgive you' to the people standing at the foot of the cross. But He didnt. He chose instead to ask the Father to forgive them. Interesting. Not long after this Stephen, as he is being stoned to death, also prays and asks God to forgive his persecutors.
Then the other thing that struck me as I was thinking about it yesterday was that when Jesus was dealing with the people as he moved around the country He usually told people that their sins had been forgiven. He was of course able to say this because He was the one who was about to take their sins into His own body on the cross. But when talking to his disciples about forgiveness He says
“If your brother or sister[a] sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them. 4 Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them.” Luke 17 3-4
I'm not sure I've ever really seen that ' rebuke' word before. Commentaries say it means this
Rebuke - Reprove. Go and tell him his fault, and seek an explanation. Acquaint him with what has been the effect of his conduct, and the state of your feelings, that he may acknowledge his error and repent.
This is interesting because what Jesus is saying is that you can't forgive a fellow Christian unless they repent and they cant repent if they don't know they have offended you or hurt you. Which I suppose makes sense but I havent really appreciated it before. The ' shrug it off, bury it, dont make a big deal of it' approach is not what Jesus recommends. Or requires. God's aim is for His people to be holy as He is holy. Not holding grudges, not pretending all is well when it isnt, not causing offence to each other, not hiding or telling lies. He wants open, honest, good, clean righteous communication and love between us all.
So this is what I have learned over the past couple of days of chewing over the issue of forgiving.
If you are offended or hurt or damaged by a Christian you need to take responsibility for addressing the issue with the person concerned. You need to let them know what they have done and how you feel about it so that they have the opportunity to repent. This is the kindness of God to them, because they might not know they have been in the wrong and God really wants both of you to be whole and sorted. So go with as much grace in your heart as you can muster, realising that you too are a sinner and full of mistakes and poor choices. If they refuse to repent then Matthew 18 gives you the next steps. If they acknowledge their error, apologise for the hurt caused and have a change of heart resulting in a change in behaviour, then you need to forgive them. And let it go. When God forgives He also forgets. Completely and utterly. As far as the east is from the west. And if we can't forgive and forget then I guess we have to ask God to fill us with the forgiveness He has both shown us and bought for us until we can.
If you are offended or crucified or stoned ( metaphorically) by a non Christian then I think perhaps the first step is to pray and ask God to forgive that person. I dont think it is possible to really pray for someone to receive God's forgiveness if you dont genuinely want that person's good. And I think this is hard. If someone has wreaked havoc in your life the natural response is to want God to obliterate them. So the very act of asking God to forgive them could be a huge step. But I think that once you can do that then God can start to work healing into your own situation and grow the possibility of forgiveness and freedom in your own heart.
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| Love this. It removes the issue of how we feel and makes it about how we act. |
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